Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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