elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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