There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
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