is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
