drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
The Olympian is in my bed
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
