They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
