And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
That's intense
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
