Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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