Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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