I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
