I got chris browned last night
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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