Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
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