i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I don't deserve a penis
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He shit in the fireplace
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
