I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
