I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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