fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
