We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
