Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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