in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
