Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
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