At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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