I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
