Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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