What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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