Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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