i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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