i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
