yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
