he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
