Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
