i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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