What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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