As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.