why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.