Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.