im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.