I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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