I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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