It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
