Is it normal to miss your booty call?
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize