Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
