i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
