I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I see more hoeing in ur future
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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