yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
