it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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