i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
