this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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