garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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