Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
