She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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