Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
