GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Come see our sink grown plant.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize