never play flip cup with pint glasses
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
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