I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
