"it" just moved
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Randomize
