when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize