Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
