I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
