So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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