My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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