Where did you get a picture of my penis
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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