So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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