if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
