if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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