Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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