I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize