I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
